Regular readers of S&F might recall my self-publishing experiment which came to an end exactly two years ago this month concerning my little "cozy" murder mystery,
A Deed of Dreadful Note
, and might recall as well the reason for that experiment's self-imposed end — an end that came about not with a bang but a whimper, as the poet put it — recounted in the S&F post titled, "
Dead In The Water".
I wasn't particularly distressed over this since, lacking the necessary narrative gift and fictive imagination, I'm no writer of fiction and never deluded myself that I am. Truth be told, the novel meant not very much to me as I had no emotional investment in it as it was, itself, something on the order of an experiment in which I engaged just to see whether I could do it or not, and no matter that the novel ended up being manufactured in by-the-numbers fashion by me more than it was written. (Over a three-month period prior to my setting to work on the novel — "the absolutely longest three months I’ve ever spent," as I elsewhere put it — I read some ten-gazillion examples of the genre just to get its "formula" as it was a genre almost totally unfamiliar to me for I almost never read genre fiction of any sort my fairly recent foray into the Harry Potter series a singular exception, and my devotion to the Holmes-Watson canon not considered an exception as I don't consider that saga to be genre fiction at all (although it was the mother of all non-hard-boiled detective fiction, pace Edgar Allan Poe and his Dupin which served Conan Doyle as a model), but an entity
sui generis.)
Imagine, then, my surprise — no, make that astonishment — when I received an eMail from an editor at a small publishing house (which editor and which house shall remain nameless for reasons which will become immediately apparent) telling me he bought a copy of the book at Amazon, loved it, and was interested in buying the property for publication by his own house.
My first thought was that this was a rather transparent practical joke perpetrated by I had not the first clue. I mean, acquaintances of mine who bought and read the book just as a matter of curiosity could say nothing more about it than that they thought it "fun reading," and that by those who ventured to say something. I imagine there were more who bought and read the book for the same reason, but who were too embarrassed on my account to say anything at all.
Turns out not a practical joke, but a genuine offer made by a genuine editor at a genuine publishing house. This editor, thought I, is either a flat-out publishing dummy, an illiterate, or certifiably lunatic — or any combination of the above. The novel was written some fifteen years ago, and, genre-wise, was antiquated even then, not to speak of its "breaking formula" in some major key areas. How much more so would it be today?
Well, not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, if I may be permitted the cliché, at least not too closely, I played publishing innocent, and entered into contract negotiations with said editor, telling him I had no need of an agent to negotiate a contract for me because he sounded both "trustworthy and honest." If that didn't convince him I was a publishing innocent, thought I, nothing would, and the game would be up.
After speaking on the phone with him, and agreeing to the modest (OK, very modest) advance offered, we discussed briefly some changes he wanted made to the story, most of them minor and easy to accomplish. He then told me he'd send off a paper copy of the contract which I was to sign and return for his signature, a copy of the fully executed contract to be sent back to me by return mail.
I should have been thrilled by this turn of events, or at least made happy, but I wasn't. It was clear to me that this guy just didn't know what he was doing, and that what I was doing was tantamount to (that's right, you guessed it, another cliché) stealing candy from a baby. This mystery novel is a non-starter commercial-publishing-wise (or any other wise, for that matter) and can't make a go of it in the marketplace — not then, not now.
The paper contract came in due time, and I began to look it over, skimming it immediately for the clause I dreaded but knew had to be there. And sure enough, there it was, and couched in language lengthy, detailed, and unequivocal: I was to be the marketer — practically the sole marketer — of this book. The house itself would do almost nothing along those lines except attempt to get it placed on a shelf in brick-and-mortar bookstores. As I made clear in the above linked S&F piece, that, for me, is a deal-breaker, and the very reason my experiment in self-publishing came to an abrupt and self-imposed end.
I immediately phoned the editor to tell him of my position on the matter, and even risked giving him the URL of my S&F piece so that he would understand just how much of a deal-breaker that clause was for me; a risk because after reading it he would know for certain I was no publishing innocent, and the game would be up.
And so it was. After reading the piece, he called back, said my position on the matter was a deal-breaker for him and his house, and it was nice speaking with me, and all good luck in future.
Ah well. Win some, lose some.
Or so I tell myself.
The Tyranny Of The Singer
We’ve just finished reading Berlioz's chronicling of his one-and-a-half years spent living in Italy as a 28-year-old Prix de Rome first prize winner, a section of the Memoirs that concludes with a savage assessment of the musical proclivities and sensibilities of the Italians; an assessment with which we found ourself nodding in agreement at almost every sentence. That savage assessment concludes with the following summation:
My oh my. How familiar does all that sound. Who would have imagined that all this time we've been echoing — albeit unwittingly and totally ignorant of the precedent — the assessment of a Frenchman on something other than matters culinary.Posted by A.C. Douglas on 02 August 2010 | Permalink