One Impressive Set Of Balls

[NOTE: This entry has been updated (1) as of 9:49 PM Eastern on 22 Jan. See below.]

[NOTE: This entry has been edited as of 3:00 PM Eastern on 10 Jan to correct a reversed numbering of our #'s 8 and 9.]

If for no other reason, you have to give The New York Times's chief classical music critic, Anthony Tommasini, full credit for possessing one helluva impressive set of balls. We mean, who other than one so equipped would, in print in our national "Newspaper of Record" no less, propose to compile a list, possibly even a ranked list, naming "The 10 Greatest Composers In History" (aka, "The Top 10 Composers")?

Well, perhaps we're confusing courage with recklessness cum an added soupçon of silliness, but it's really an, um, extraordinary exercise even taking into account Mr. Tommasini's abundant self-defensive hedging. We, of course, don't need Mr. Tommasini to compile such a list for us. We know who The 10 Greatest Composers In History are and how they should be ranked, and none but philistines, music illiterates, or purblind or self-serving cheerleaders for so-called New Music could argue with our choices no doubt branding them hopelessly bourgeois. In ranked order our list would read:

1: Bach
2: Mozart
3: Beethoven
4: Wagner
5: Haydn
6: Stravinsky
7: Palestrina
8: Bartók
9: Schubert
10: Schoenberg

What's that? You want us to define what we mean by "greatest"?

Oh.

Uh...

We'll get back to you on that.

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Update (9:49 PM Eastern on 22 Jan): See this S&F entry for a follow-up.