Something I've Never Understood

Pianist and blogger Jeremy Denk of Think Denk describes a situation all too common. I've seen it happen dozens of times, and been involved a number of times myself, and so understand it thoroughly.

[To a man ambiguously positioned near a line formed at the cash register of a cafeteria] "Excuse me sir are you in line?" ... [A]t that moment he turned his head away from the croissants [on display in a self-serve case somewhat near the cash register] and gave me a pained expression I shall never forget. It seemed to distill a lifetime of being hassled and to convey a deep consciousness of the inexplicable impatience of the human sphere within which we are all yoked. [...] "That's a real good question [the man replied]. Yes, I'm in line, and in another way I guess no, I'm looking and deciding; a little bit of both; is that OK with you?; does that mean I'm not still in line? If you have to, just go ahead, go ahead, do whatever you want, please just go on ahead, don't worry about me ... whatever you want...."

As I've said, it's an all too common situation, and I understand it thoroughly — except this all too common reaction (usually acted upon in the passive-aggressive's favor), which I've never understood:

A man who cut ahead at this point, as he was inviting me to do, would be ravaged by guilt, pursued by a croissant curse, for the remainder of his days; it was a passive-aggressive masterpiece.

Ravaged by guilt for accepting the passive-aggressive's invitation? Why on earth would anyone feel guilty about doing that? I always accept such an invitation. And as I'm doing precisely that which the passive-aggressive least wants me to do, I make certain to say, in my most courteous tone of voice, and with an ingratiating smile on my face, "Thank you for your consideration. I think I will," knowing that nothing distresses a passive-aggressive more, or causes him more pain, than being passive-aggressively hoisted with his own petard.