On How To Properly Scramble Eggs

First, we need a definition.

Properly scrambled eggs are soft and creamy through and through, with fairly large curds (as opposed to eggs scrambled for making an omelet where the curds are kept tiny), and without a trace of liquid egg anywhere except as a slight sheen on the surface of the curds throughout. Technique is everything in getting this right, so if this is your first time expect to waste a dozen or so eggs before you get the hang of it. And please, don't be daunted by the detail of these instructions. It reads lots longer and lots more complicated than it is in actual practice.

What you need

(2) extra-large fresh eggs
(1/2) tsp Heavy cream
(1/8) tsp Lea & Perrins Worcestershire Sauce
Salt
Pepper
A thick-bottomed, non-stick, super-clean, slope-sided 8" or 9" skillet (I reserve a skillet to be used for eggs only, and never use it for any other purpose)
A rubber spatula

What you do

Break and gently whisk eggs together in a bowl with the heavy cream and the Worcestershire Sauce (gently and without lifting the whisk out of the liquid so as not to incorporate air into the mixture) until egg mixture is a completely integrated yellow with no streaks anywhere. Never add anything else to the eggs until after they're all but done. Especially do not add salt as that will tend to toughen the eggs.

Next, heat the skillet over a whisper-low fire, and after a minute or two, add a super-generous pat of butter (you want to incorporate the butter with the egg mixture you're about to pour into the skillet). Skillet is at the proper temperature when the butter just melts with no trace of bubbling. Swirl the butter around bottom and side of skillet, or use the rubber spatula to do it.

Then, quickly pour the egg mixture into the skillet and give it an initial mix throughout with the rubber spatula being certain to scrape down the side of the skillet so that no egg adheres to it (scraping down the side is something you do every time the egg mixture is moved within the skillet). The first "set" of the egg mixture takes a bit of time (maybe 30-45 seconds or so), a set being defined as that point at which the bottom of the egg mixture (that part of the mixture in direct contact with the bottom of the skillet) is moving slightly more slowly than the still fully liquid top. Thereafter, the egg mixture requires your constant attention as the cooking of each subsequent set will go very fast indeed (a matter of 3-5 seconds or so for each set). While cooking, watch the egg mixture closely and be cognizant of the heat of the skillet at all times. You may even need to remove the skillet from the fire every once in a while during cooking to keep it from getting too hot. To determine when a set has taken, gently give skillet a horizontal shake every three seconds or so with the skillet flush and in contact with the burner (gently so as not to interrupt the forming of the curds if they're not quite set), or, alternatively, you can give the skillet a slight tilt instead of shaking it.

At the first sign that a set has taken, scrape the egg mixture from one side of the skillet to the other with the rubber spatula, turning the newly formed curds upside down as you do, so that the still fully liquid top of the curds comes into direct contact with the bottom of the skillet, then immediately give the skillet a vigorous horizontal shake and again scrape down the side. This vigorous horizontal shake is important as it spreads the still completely liquid portion of the egg mixture evenly over the bottom of the skillet. If the newly formed upsided curds appear slightly dry or dull on their surface instead of having a slightly wet sheen it means they've been in direct contact with the skillet bottom too long. No problem so long as you've not got to the point of actually overcooking the egg mixture. With the rubber spatula, simply move the offending curds through the still completely liquid part of the egg mixture to coat them with liquid egg.

When the vigorous horizontal shaking of the skillet shows just a trace of liquid egg spreading out, the scrambled eggs are all but done (you want to retain that trace of liquid egg because the eggs will continue cooking just a tiny bit once they're plated). Add salt and pepper to taste, give the skillet another vigorous horizonal shake to incorporate, then quickly move the scrambled eggs to one side of the skillet with the rubber spatula, then turn them out onto a warmed plate (and I do mean quickly; leaving the done eggs in the skillet only a few extra seconds will be certain to turn at least a portion of them slightly "hard" and dry).

As I've already noted, technique is everything in getting this right, so if this is your first time expect to waste a dozen or so eggs before getting the hang of it. After that, it will all go like second nature.

Trust me.